How to Shake Hands

Are you cool?
Well I'm cool
Is everybody cool?
Well let's get hot
Grass roots
All across this great nation
And I am truly humbled
And gratefully accept the nomination

I'm gonna be President
Of the United States
First Tuesday in November
Mark it down, and save the date
Live music in the White House
Strictly B.Y.O.B
The public wanna get down
It is our collective destiny

I'm gonna kiss all the babies
Maybe kiss their Mamas too
I don't need the secret service
I know how to work a room

I'm gonna be President
Of the United States
I was born to be President
Of these United States
On the day I was born
All the nurses and doctors
"Take that boy out his crib
And put him in the Executive Office."

First thing that I'm gonna do is disclose all those U.F.O.s
Put Jimi Hendrix on the 20 dollar bill
And Bill Hick on a five note
Hot damn! The democratic process!
What a time to be alive!
Oh, I'm ready
To give the people what they want
And what they want is straight talk
And no jive

We have exit polls coming in -
Rhode Island and American Samoa
We have more results coming in
From Puerto Rico and both Dakotas
Breaking news - Happening right now
I believe we're ready to call it
Do you want us to call it?
I believe - We have a winner

Thank you very much
I couldn't have done it
I couldn't have done it without you
Drinks on me!

First thing that I'm gonna do is go for a ride on a U.F.O
Put Jimi Hendrix on the 20 dollar bill
And Bill Hick on a five note
Hot damn! The democratic process!
What a time to be alive!
Oh, I'm ready
To give the people what they want
And what they want is straight talk
And no jive