How to Get a Boyfriend

When you think you see a boy
Who strikes your fancy
Strike a pose you know is going to catch his eye
Pretty soon I'm sure you'll be the boy's fiancée
With my simple steps that work most every time

Now be sure that you're not coming off as easy
'Cause you want to boys to work hard for the prize
Check your phone, look nonchalant
Pretend you're busy
And believe me, they'll be dropping down like flies

Miranda, Miranda
We want to be just like you
Miranda, Miranda
Please tell us what to do

Now before we move along
Let's check your wardrobe
'Cause it just won't do to walk around like porn
Simply stick to my sophisticated dress code
'Cause Miranda knows how clothes are to be worn
And let's not forget a little bit of makeup
'Cause we can't all be as bootiful as me
Now you'll always be prepared for your big close up
You'll be flawless as the world can clearly see

Miranda, Miranda
We want to be just like you
Miranda (Miranda), Miranda (Miranda)
Miranda, we love you!

When he takes you out to dinner
Choose the venue
You don't want to have a meal that wastes your time
Order one of every item on the menu
So the man knows you're worth more than just a dime

But before he sweeps you off into his carriage
There is one thing that you must remember well
Don't do anything down there until the marriage
Or you'll definitely die
And burn in hell

So remember all these lessons
That I taught you here today
With this knowledge you are ready
Now you girls are on your way

Miranda (Miranda), Miranda (Miranda)
The whole wide world adores you
Miranda, Miranda,
You've made our dreams come true!