Hell, I Can Do That

I was flippin' through the channels
A lazy Sunday afternoon
Caught the race in Talladega
Comin' 'round lap 22

When the fella in the blue car
Gave a red car a little tap
Then the rainbow colors
Went flippin' down the track
In what that announcer called
A spectacular crash

And I thought
Well, hell, I can do that
What's the big deal?
Hit a wall in a ball of fire
Requires no steel

A hundred thousand fans
Screamin' in the stands
He gets a bag full of cash
Drivin' circles and crash
Hell, I can do that

While they were under caution
I switched it back to the football game
My team was losin'
Coach was hangin' his head in shame

Then they gave 30 to the football
And he hit the hole fast
'Tween him and the goal line
Was nothin' but the grass
And he tripped on his own two feet
Fell flat on his back

And I said
Oh, hell, I can do that
Man, what's the big deal?
If I only wanted
A stumblin', fumblin' skills

A hundred thousand fans
Screamin' in the stands
He gets a bag full of cash
And sit out the second half
Hell, I can do that

Well, I must have dozed off
I woke up with my baby next to me
Remote in her hand
Tears in her eyes from a movie
A romantic comedy
Starring Matthew McConaughey

Oh, hell, baby
I can do that
I don't see the big deal
Kiss a girl, save the world
And the monster ain't even real

He just takes off his shirt
Stuntman does the work
He gets a boat load of cash
For a quick shot of his ass
Hell, I can do that

Might need to wax my back
But, hell, I can do that