Hate Song

Momma always said that hate was a strong, strong word
Poppa always said that words of hate should never be heard
But I'm getting older and I just cannot lie
There are things I hate, no matter how hard I try

I hate traffic, I hate dirt in my eyes
I hate spiders, and I hate girlfriends that lie
I hate cancer, I hate cauliflower pie
But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy

The good book says that we should love everyone
And I'm doing my best, but it's easier said than done
This new guy was a good friend of mine before
Caught him with my girl in his mustang ford

I hate taxes, I hate stink bugs and flies
I hate rug burns, and I hate polka-dot ties
I hate Mike Tyson, 'cause he'll bite your ear then bust you in the eye
But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy

I was sittin' down by myself, I was having a coke
I heard someone laughing real loud at a real dumb joke
I recognized the voice so I turned around
It was my ex-girlfriend's new guy, can't stand that clown

He walked up to me with a really sorry look on his face
And he said, man I done you wrong but now she's gone and I've been replaced
I know I don't deserve to have you as a friend because I played the fool
But I'm really hurtin' man, can I just pull up a stool

So he started crying and saying how he loved that girl
She got with a new guy and it rocked his world
He asked me how I dealt with it when she dumped me
And I said, I just talked about stuff I hate man, it's like therapy
And he said, really, I said yeah, yeah, give it a shot go ahead

I hate pimples, I hate hemorrhoids and hives
I hate funerals, I hate unsalted fries
I hate Britney spears because she never returns any of the letters that I Write
But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy
Wouldn't mind if someone huge fell on his head and he died
Like a bus, or a truck, or a meteorite
A hippopotamus, a rhinoceros or even a pig if it was falling fast from a great height
Ooo, I hate that guy