Harper Valley P.T.A.

I want to tell you all a story
'Bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High

Well her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"

The note said, "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing
Your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking
And a-runnin' 'round with men and going wild

And we don't believe
You ought to be bringing up your little girl this way"
It was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised
When Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room

And as she walked up to the blackboard
I still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley PTA"

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he's asked me for a date
Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
A lot of ice whenever he's away

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why
Your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told
To keep her window shades all pulled completely down?

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin

Then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother, I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did
It happened just this way
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA