Harper Valley

I want to tell you all the story
'Bout the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High

Well, her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mama, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"

Well, the note said
"Mrs. Johnson, you're a wearing your dresses way too high"
It's reported you've been
Drinking and a running round with men and goin' wild

We don't believe you ought to be a
Bringing up your little girl this way
It was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when
Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room

And then she walked up to the blackboard
I still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the
Harper Valley PTA"

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
A lotta ice whenever he's away

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us
Why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin

And then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Payton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No, I wouldn't put you on
Because it really did it happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to the

Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to the
Harper Valley PTA