Grin And Bear It

Me best friend and me had a day by the sea
cos the office was getting us down
Won't it be grand just to lie on the sand
and get meself all nice and brown?
I had on me smallest bikini
which is always a strain on me nerves
I mean it's alright on the straight bits,
but it loses control on the curves.
so i got out me lotion and went to the ocean,
I was tanning meself on the front.
me little bikini was really quite teeny,
though it seemed to be bearing the brunt.
I slipped on a cornet and thought "Ooh that's torn it"
I could feel I was losing me top
I looked a right clown, me defenses were down
and me show began to flop!

Why not grin bear it?
don't be scared to share it
you can all have fun lying in the sun
so come on girls and air it

this bloke asked you from women's lib,
and I thought he was poised for a snatch
but he said "how d'you feel about burning your bra?"
and then he gave me a match
and you know I was starting to like it,
cos me body felt unchained and free,
it was getting so hot I thought I might drop the lot
and have a quick dip in the sea!

Why not grin bear it?
don't be scared to share it
you can all have fun lying in the sun
so come on girls and air it

then a man came along clutching two 99's,
while I'm sunning meself on the peer,
he slipped on some stones
and two freezing cones landed right on the spot I most feared,
I was screaming about
with these ices stuck out,
I thought me resistance would break,
when this little boy ran up
crying "Oy! what you done with me chocolate flake?"

Why not grin bear it?
don't be scared to share it
you can all have fun lying in the sun
so come on girls and air it

This copper arrived with his notebook
and he waved it around in me face
and he mentioned indecent exposure
"where d'you think this is? san tropez?"
he wanted to see my credentials
"I'll have to take everything down"
"Ain't you already seen enough officer?
I'm just trying to get 'em brown!"

Why not grin bear it?
don't be scared to share it
you can all have fun lying in the sun
ain't no crime to keep abreast of the times!
so come on girls and air it