Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer

Well, a couple of good friends of mine, Elmo and Patsy wrote me
And said, they'd written the perfect country Christmas comedy song
I said, "No you didn't, you didn't mention nothing about"

"Well, yeah, you pretty much got it all
I mean Grandma and of course the family
And getting drunk and run over by heavy machinery and
Well, since I needed the money, I felt obliged to include it on this record
And it goes a little something like this"

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
(Say there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
(Lord, we believe)

Now we're all so proud of Grandma
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
(Midnight before Christmas)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
(Say, there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
(Lord, we believe)

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And a blue and silver candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
"Better watch out for yourselves"
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
(Minding her own business)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
(What do you mean there's no Santa?)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
(Lord, we believe)

Oh
As for me and Grandpa, we believe
(We believe in Santa Claus)