Fat Aunt Bette

Fat Aunt Bette with her hair in a net
She's baking pies as her curls set
And Uncle Mac with his plumber's crack
Is bending over his santa's sack
Putting presents in

Cousin Randy with his scissors handy
And a tape dispenser and a mouthful of candy
He's fighting over something with his sister Liz
She says it's hers, he says it's his
Fa la la la la

Shadow of blue on the white snow
Sky of charcoal gray
The icicles flash and the fires glow
It's almost Christmas day

Fat Aunt Bette dripping beads of sweat
Bakes another pie, and she's not done yet
And Uncle Mac with his terrible back
Is sitting in his study popping bubble pack

Grandma Timms is humming hymns
Forgetting the words as her memory dims
And then she calls to grandpa, "Darling, Dear?"
But he doesn't answer 'cause he doesn't hear
Though she is speaking up

Mistletoe on a moonbeam
Houses draped in lights
Santa will come as the children dream
It's Christmas Eve tonight

Little plastic angels and elves
Sit upon the counters and shelves
Of Uncle Mac and Fat Aunt Bette
As night thickens over the house
They listen to some holiday Strauss
And then at last they say goodnight

Shadow of blue on the white snow
Sky of charcoal gray
The icicles flash and the fires glow
It's almost Christmas day
It's almost Christmas day
It's almost Christmas day
It's almost Christmas day