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Came home a little early from the found my wife actin' kinda strange
She was fidgety and nervous and her hair was sorta disarranged
Then I opened the door to my closet I something looked mighty queer
And then the man standin' said well everybody's gotta be somewhere

Yeah everybody's gotta be somewhere old buddy I'm just passin'
Just stopped in to look for them termites hope them pests ain't you
Get my necktie there on the couch step aside and let me
Everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd be anywhere but here
[ ]
He said I respected all your suits man and I'm agly old can tear
And I'd sure feel bad if you ever get in your underwear
You buy a new backyard cleaner I gotta hidden dirt in here
I'm a doin' asocial word everybody's gotta be somewhere

Yeah everybody's gotta be somewhere would you I just happened by
I thought this was the doctor's office and I got in my eye
I didn't know your wife was married and pardon me for drinkin' your
And everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd be anywhere but here
everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd rather be anywhere but here