Drunk Frat Boy

[Ryan Lochte:]
I want to be a role model for those little kids.

[Matt Lauer:]
That's some dumb shit

SONGIFY THIS

[Ryan Lochte:]
I know.

THIS IS A FANTASTICAL, FICTIONAL MUSICAL PERFORMANCE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO REPRESENT THE ORIGINAL INTERVIEW ACCURATELY — THAT WOULD BREAK THE ANCIENT CODE OF SILLINESS. IN ACTUALITY, NO ONE SANG, PLAYED CELLO, CLAPPED, OR SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT IS SOME DUMB SHIT, ALTHOUGH THEY MAY HAVE CONSIDERED DOING ANY OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS. IF THIS IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR, QUITE LIKE THE NA'VI WORLD OF PANDORA NOT BEING REAL, WE OFFER OUR SINCEREST CONDOLENCES.

PEOPLE CAN SEE IT IN MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS
ALL WE KNOW IS THERE WAS A GUN
THAT'S DUMB
THERE WAS A GUN
THAT'S DUMB
THERE WAS A GUN
THAT'S DUMB

WERE YOU ROBBED?
I DON'T KNOW-ALL I KNOW IS I WAS A
DRUNK FRAT BOY FOR ONE NIGHT (One Night)
WHY'D YOU DO THAT
I DON'T KNOW WHY (Know Why)
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK
THE ENTIRE WORLD HAD TO WATCH THIS
FOR THE LAST WEEK
UNDER THAT INFLUENCE
STILL INTOXICATED
I THINK SO, I KNOW SO
I OVEREXAGGERATED
THESE TACTICS
THESE SHENANIGANS
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT THIS
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN

WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK, YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IF YOU TRY
(EVEN IF YOU TRY)
WERE YOU PISSIN ON A BUSH
OR WERE YOU FIGHTING A HUNDRED BAD GUYS
(OR BOTH)

RYAN LIED
THERE WAS NO PULL OVER
HE LIED
IT WAS NOTHING
HE LIED
HE LEFT HIS TEAMMATES HANGING
WHILE HE SKEDADDLED

IN THE END, AL
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED TO HIS MOM
HIS MOM

HE'S A

DRUNK FRAT BOY FOR ONE NIGHT (One Night)
WHY'D YOU DO THAT
I DON'T KNOW WHY (Know Why)
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK
THE ENTIRE WORLD HAD TO WATCH THIS
FOR THE LAST WEEK

UNDER THAT INFLUENCE
STILL INTOXICATED
I THINK SO, I KNOW SO
I OVEREXAGGERATED
THESE TACTICS
THESE SHENANIGANS
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT THIS
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN

THESE TACTICS
THESE SHENANIGANS
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT THIS
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN

And that's some dumb shit.