Don't Touch My Willie

She showed up at my house at half past nine
In a low-cut dress with a bottle of wine
She said, "This will be a night you won't forget"

She poured us some drinks to get us into the mood
I reached for the lights, she reached for my tunes
She pulled out that Red Headed Stranger, I stood up and said

"Don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell or anybody else"

"I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah, so don't touch my Willie
We'll get along just fine"
You better keep your hands off my Willie, mama

She said she never met a man like me in her life
Who wouldn't share his Willie on the very first night
I said it's nothing personal, don't take it so hard

I don't pull out my Willie for just anyone
There's a lot of other records that you can choose from
So let me make myself clear before you go too far

Don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell or anybody else

I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah, so don't touch my Willie
We'll get along just fine

Yeah, so don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell or anybody else

I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah, so don't touch my Willie
We'll get along just fine

Keep your hands off my Willie
We'll get along just fine