Dirtiest Song in the World

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock,
He sat in the meadow a-shaking his fist,
At some boys who were down by the crick (creek),
Their feet in the water, their hands on their marbles
And playthings, and in days of yore

There came a young lady she looked like a
Pretty young creature. She sat on the grass
She pulled up her dresses and showed us her
Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck.
She said she was learning a new way to

Bring up her children and learn them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard where shovelling
Refuse and litter from yesterdays hunt,
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellows as girls somtimes do,

To make it quite clear that she wanted to
Go for a nice pleasent stroll on the grass,
Then hurry back home for a nice peice of
Icecream and cake that stood three layers tall,
And after dessert she was ready to
Go for another walk down by the dock,

With any young man with a sizeable
Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front,
If he asked politely she would show him her
Little pet dog who was subject to fits,
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tenders hands with movement so quick,
Then she'd lean on over and suck on his
Soda so sweetly till she finished it,
Then pull down her panties to rub on her
Hip, which she brused when she ran down the halls,

'Cause he tried to force her to suck on his
Candy so tasty made of butterscotch,
And then he spread whipped cream
All over her cookies she had been backing all night...
If you think this is dirty you're f***ing well right.