Dinner Lady

I'm a dinner lady
In a private school
Where the lips are so stiff and Jack Wills is so cool
I wear a baseball cap
And thus branded a fool
But if you piss me off then you'll be eating my drool
When I'm stealing food
Or hiding in the loos
I'm jacked up on the hot counter to serve a ball of food
A fat teacher approaches
With a wobbly hip
And I politely inform her that we're all out of chips
She gives me a glare
As I bite my fingertips
I offer new potatoes and she absolutely flips

But then i ponder
How hard her life must be
I mean it's all on a plate thanks to my ma and daddy
But regardless of the car
And this cushy job
This bitch won't settle without corn on the cob
And then one day
I got so bored and idle
Served enough sausage rolls to make me suicidal
To combat this state
I had a wank in the quiche
And I watched the headmaster get it stuck to his teeth

(oh)
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh
Oh
(I am a dinner lady)
(Oh and it's a true story)
(Oh i wanna sausage roll)

Suffice to say
I wasn't bored anymore
And i couldn't stop my laughing as i scrubbed up on the floor
And next time Jeffrey's mother
Asks him what he had for tea
He can tell her it was a fluid
That once belonged to me.

(hey)
(oh)
(It's all for me, I'm a)
(A dinner lady)
(It's all for me)
(Oh I am a dinner lady)
(And it's a true, tr-tr-tr-tr-tr-true story)
(Tr-true)
Oh

And it's a tr-true, true story
Life as a dinner lady
Oh and it's a true story
Giggleswick school!