Dearly Beloved

Here's a story of an honest man losing religion
Climbing the pulpit steps before an eager congregation
Then while praying came a wicked inspiration
Brothers, sisters, this is what he said

"Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
(Make no mistake, despite our traits, I've seldom seen)
I can't relate to you
(I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you"

He was the kinda guy who'd always go right out of his way
But more before that crazy notion leaped right into his head
And stubbornly crept into every mad perception
I can't deny a funny feeling when he said

"Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
(Make no mistake, despite our traits, I've seldom seen)
I can't relate to you
(I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you"

Dearest in memoriam, set phasers to stun
And grab yourself a neighbor's skeleton to lean upon
Did you know him in life? One filled with regret
So soon we all forget we ever met

Do you know my name?
Sing a light refrain
For a man estranged
I won't deny that I'm inclined to isolate

Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved
(I can't believe)
I can't relate to you
(I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you
(I can't relate to you)

I can't relate to you
(I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you