Carcinogens

as i sit here stumbling over myself
and laughing so hard the neighbors can hear
i wonder why it feels so good to act like a kid again
waiting for the weekend
getting fucked up with people i hope to see again
until i grow even older and colder and more tired of the things i try to escape
every breath i take, every hard decision ill have to make
will take a toll on me but im alive

smoke stains inside my lungs
and the taste on my tongue
it is what i have done
to stay young