Call Any Vegetable

Call Any Vegetable, call it by name
You've got to call one today, when you get off the train
Call Any Vegetable, and the chances are good
Yeaaaaah
The vegetable will respond to you
La la la-la
The vegetable will respond to you
La la la-la, oh

Call Any Vegetable, pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable, lonely at home
Call Any Vegetable and the chances are good
yeaaaah
The vegetable will respond to you
La la la-la
The vegetable will respond to you
La la la-la

Rudebega Rudebega Rudebega Rudebega Rudebega

No one will know if you don't want to let'em know
No one will know less its you that might tell them so
Call and they'll come to you
Smiling and covered with dew
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream of responding to you

Standing there shiny and proud by your side
Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable something to hide?
To hide? To hide? To hide?

Shoop shoop Shoop shoop Shoop shoop Shoop shoop

You know, a lot of people dont bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
Ha-a-aah

They, they think, what can I say?
Sometimes they think Where can I go?
Where can I go to get my poodle clipped in Burbank?
At Ralphs vegetarian poodle clipping, where you can convince them...
Where can I go to get organic vaseline for my intercourse?
At Bob & Ray's Swahili restaurant, where you can convince them....
Where can I go to get my jeans embroidered in Fullerton
At Jeans North, where nothing fits
Where can I go to get my zipper repaired in Hollywood?
Who gives a fuckin...
Where can I go to get my speakers fixed?
Hey, at ...
Where can I go to get my exit lights?
At Jack Lalane Hamburgers on 312 Whitaker Blvd
Where can I go to get my stomach pumped?
Where can I go to go up the....

Hey didoo,

Questions, questions, questions, flooding into the mind of the concerned young person today.
Ahh, but its a great time to be alive, ladies and gentlemen, and that's the theme of our program for tonight

Its so fuckin great to be alive is what the theme of our show is tonight, boys and girls

And I want to tell you, if there is anybody here who doesnt believe that it is fucking great to be alive, I wish they would go now because this show will bring them down so much.
God Bless America, land that ......

Call Any Vegetable, call it by name
You've got to call one today, when you get off the train
Call Any Vegetable, and the chances are good
Awwww
That the vegetable will respond to you

And if you're a consenting adult, we want you to call today
In Los Angeles the number is Richmond 96135
In Downey its347 8932
Call it direct, call it collect but call it today