Augustus Gloop

Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!

Augustus Gloop!
So big and vile
So greedy, foul, and infantile

'Come on!' we cried, 'The time is right,
To send him shooting up the pipe!

But don't, dear children, be alarmed;
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed,
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed

Although, of course, we must admit
He will be altered quite a bit.
Slowly, the wheels go round and round,
The cogs begin to grind and pound;
We boil him for a minute more,
Until we're absolutely sure
Then out he comes! And now! By grace!
A miracle has taken place!
A miracle has taken place!

This greedy brute, this louse's ear,
Is loved by people everywhere!
For who could hate or bear a grudge
Against a luscious bit of fudge?