Asked You First

Things can't get much weirder
This can't get much worse
Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me
But it's a good thing I asked you first.

You were a big strapping boy with a boner.
Yeah I felt it when you hugged me goodbye
You gave me an evening I'll never forget
No matter how hard I try.

Yeah you were just mister flirtatious
All night just workin' that ass
Well you know it's uncool to bring it to school
If you don't want to share with the class

I am just Mrs. Embarrassed
I feel like a dirty old man
I've got my eye on a guy
That just moved out of mom's house
With his pretty head stuck in the sand

You've earned yourself a place in my memory
By being the one who said no
Where are my fucking care keys
I think I'll just go

Surprise surprise now you miss me
Now that I'm not in your face
Surprise surprise now you're calling me
Now that you feel safe
Do you think that I could be your prom date
You could do us a stiff little dance
Except that this isn't high school, baby
And you had your chance
You had your chance

You've earned yourself a place in my memory
By being the one who said no
Now where are my fucking car keys I think I should go
Hey look! car keys... bye!] things can't get much weirder
This can't get much worse
Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me
But it's a good thing I asked you first.

You were a big strapping boy with a boner.
And I felt it in your goodbye
You're leaving I'll never forget
No matter how hard I try

No matter how hard I try