After Ever After 3

If you've ever wondered why
Disney tales all end in lies
Here's what happened
after all their dreams came true...

[Simba]
Was gonna be a mighty king
Mufasa's famous heir
[Zazu:] Well your little mane's been lion tamed
[Zazu:] By beasts who don't fight fair
I've turned into the main event
For soldiers big and small
And now I dread my severed head
Might end up on your wall— (meow!)
[Hunter:] Let me help this African economy
Oh my species is going extinct
Everywhere you look, death
Taking shots at my pride
Thanks for that petition
To stop a straight up genocide
[Hunter:] Scope set.
Rafiki's brains are not a cure for AIDS
Now ebonies need ivory for pay
I don't think Hamlet ended up this way
Oh my species is going extinct
Oh my species is go- (uagh!)

[Peter Pan]
Every time I fly to town
I grow up when I come down
Now I've been stuck at age sixteen
For eighty years of puberty
In unforgiving tights
He's upright, he's upright, he's upright
[Tiger Lily:] We're following his leader,
His leader, His leader,
We're following his leader
Wherever he may bone
Tee dum (tee dum), Tee dee (tee dee)
My teedle-dee's out to play
It's one for all
[Mermaid:] The mermaids are wet for days
[Tiger Lily:] This engine's revved
[Pirate:] There's only one booty for me
Just a teedle ee rump
A teedle ee hump tee day
Think of the fappiest thoughts
[Wendy:] I'm a happy little thot
Wendy is my special gal
[Mermaid:] She's like 90—
[Wendy:] I'm down
[Wendy:] The dentures never bite (dentures never bite, dentures never bite)
He's upright, he's upright,
He's upright
[Pirate:] Hope he's bi
He's upright

[Hercules]
Save my soul
Herc was on a roll
Now every god and goddess here is begging to atone
Replaced by intelligent design
The new guy's rolling by and turning water into wine
The Roman's are chanting
Christo, Christo
He's a godsend
Bigger than Nero
Out with the old in with the Jew
Hero to Christo
God's honest truth
Hero to Christo
[Jesus:] Hey Herc, you're screwed
The Jesus freak is super weak
[Jesus:] I'm so devine
[Jesus:] You see I came inside a virgin's bod
*Pfft*, So have I!
I threw him in the Colosseum
A lion a la carte
Three days went by he zombified
And rose up in search of hearts

[Aladdin]
I'm a prisoner of war
ISIS blew up my city
They're throwing me off a building
Cause they think that I like guys
A holy war
An old fantastical point of view
Carpet was burned alive
Streamed nation wide
I can't go back to where I used to thieve
Every turn suicide
A hundred thousand children plead
The toppling of Agrabah
With Sharia Law
Stop this holy war before we're through ( [Jasmine:] A holy war)
Unholy war
[Jasmine:] That's where we'll be
Just refugees
[Jasmine:] Send helping hands
Instead of bans
For you and me

[Simba:] The lions are gone,
[Peter Pan:] Hair on my junk,
[Hercules:] Jesus is a hunk—
[Aladdin:] Screw Trump!