Abercrombie Had a Zombie

Abercrombie was so meek and quiet;
Abercrombie was the tearoom type.
Oh, you'd never think he'd start a riot;
then Abercrombie had a zombie.

Abercrombie never stole a hansom (1).
Abercrombie never did a bump.
Never thought of crawling through a transom;
then Abercrombie had a zombie.

He never passed a stop. He never sassed a cop.
He never drove a car into the Astor bar (2).
He didn't try to wade in the Aquacade (3);
He was just an icky (4), I'm afraid.

But like that other famous sinner,
Abercrombie met his Waterloo.
He's the man who never came to dinner;
because Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it two?

[Instrumental Bridge]

He never passed a stop; he never sassed a cop.
He never drove a car into the Astor bar.
He never tried to wade in the Aquacade;
Just an icky, I'm afraid.

But like that other famous sinner,
Abercrombie met his Waterloo.
He's the man who didn't come to dinner;
'cuz Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it two—or was it three or four—or five—or six?

(1). Hansom: a type of horse-pulled cab.
(2). Astor Bar: the bar at New York's Astor Hotel (1904 - 1967).
(3). Aquacade: a reference to the 1939 World's Fair aquatic exhibition.
(4). Icky (n.) — one who is not hip.