Twas the fright before No one me a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV
I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my In that St. Nicholson soon would be there The children were lying awake without Theyd seen all his movies; He them the creeps
Id up cuckoos nest with my trusty remote To the where he had all the nuts in the boat When out in the yard, there arose such a I turned off the TV to see it was
And what to my wandering eyes approach But the Los Angeles Lakers, and Pat Riley, their The was racing, the team at its heels Thats when I saw him: the man at the He ranted and cursed, and waved his swizzle stick And I knew in a it must be Jack Nick
rapid than the Celtics these Lakers they came He screamed like a mad man and called by name Now Magic, now Worthy, now and Kareem On Cooper, on and the rest of the team
the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan Then he brushed off the suit and said, Honey, Im
He was wearing a trench coat, with beer it was And his shirt was clawed to shreds by Shirley He had a fat face and a beer belly From too many to the bar and the deli
He said, It's tough when an actor fat and lazy I only get calls to play weirdos and And middle-aged with washed up careers But Ill fix them all and play this year
And with that, he buried his head in the and said Lets see what you get from your old Jack A hatchet for daddy", he reared his head To scare all those little upstairs in bed And a stiff drink for mommy in a nice tall She could really use something to that bug up her chimney
a wink of his eye and a twist of his face He threw all the stockings the fireplace could I do? What could I say? What would I wear on my Christmas day?
I asked for a reason and turning his He straight at me and heres what he said Why? You wanna know Do you really wanna know why, Ill tell you why
When out Christmas shopping You know, doing your Christmas things With all little Christmas friends Spreading all that cheer With those Christmas songs?
Did you ever stop and of Picking up a little for old Jack? Did you ever stop to of what Jack might like for Christmas? You know Jack the movies up on the big screen Pouring his out, giving it everything hes got
Day in and day out, just trying as as he can To a tiny little bit of sunshine Into your little humdrum lives Did you think of good ole Jack for a second? No, not once, maybe old Jack just wasnt good
Maybe, I good enough In the postman rings twice my guts out for you in that one Cuckoos nest, the shining, of fricking Eastwick Prizzis honor, all for you, pal
Just to brighten up for you Not enough though, is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season Isnt that what you want, Okay, let's make things real bright around
do you say we decorate the tree? String up pretty lights here Oh, shes brighter already What do you say we take cute little angel And ram her on the top branch,
How about some for the whole thing? I mean, let's make her as bright as she can be do you say we light her up and chuck her Through the old picture window
No point in a tree as bright As all without giving the neighbors A to see, dont you think? There, you glad ole Jack stopped by
The flames towered brightly in the cold, sky As he made for his limo and bade his And an age may unfold air I fail to That visit from St. Nicholson, which Id sooner
But I swear by the goose bumps my skin Ill always remember that devilish grin And his voice, crying out as he from sight Christmas to all and I hope I never see you again For as long as I live, for out loud