Twas the fright Christmas No one me With a big bowl of popcorn, TV
I stretched, a yawn, settled back in my chair In hopes St. Nicholson soon would be there The children lying awake without sleep Theyd seen all his movies; He gives them the
Id cued up cuckoos nest with my remote To the where he had all the nuts in the boat When out in the yard, there arose such a I turned off the TV to see it was
And what to my wandering should approach But the Los Lakers, and Pat Riley, their coach The limo was racing, the team at its when I saw him: the man at the wheel He ranted and cursed, and waved his swizzle stick And I knew in a second it be Jack Nick
More rapid than the these Lakers they came He screamed like a mad man and called by name Now Magic, now Worthy, now and Kareem On Cooper, on Rambis and the rest of the
Down the St. Nicholson came with a groan he brushed off the suit and said, Honey, Im home
He was a trench coat, with beer it was stained And his shirt was clawed to shreds by Shirley He had a fat face and a flabby beer From too many trips to the bar and the
He said, It's tough an actor becomes fat and lazy I only get to play weirdos and crazies And middle-aged has-beens with washed up But Ill fix all and play Santa this year
And that, he buried his head in the sack and said Lets see you get from your old buddy Jack A for daddy", he reared back his head To scare all little buggers upstairs in bed And a stiff for mommy in a nice tall glass She could use something to kill that bug up her chimney
With a of his eye and a twist of his face He threw all the into the fireplace What I do? What could I say? What I wear on my feet Christmas day?
I asked for a reason and turning his He looked straight at me and heres he said You wanna know why? Do you wanna know why, pal? Ill tell you why
When youre out Christmas You know, doing your little Christmas all your little Christmas friends Spreading all that cheer With stupid Christmas songs?
Did you ever and think of Picking up a little something for old Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for You know Jack the movies up on the big screen Pouring his out, giving it everything hes got
Day in and day out, just as hard as he can To a tiny little bit of sunshine Into miserable little humdrum lives Did you ever of good ole Jack for a second? No, not once, maybe old Jack just that good
Maybe, I good enough In the postman rings twice Acting my guts out for you in one nest, the shining, witches of fricking Eastwick Prizzis honor, all for you, pal
Just to things up for you Not good though, is it? No, you want me to brighten up the season too? Isnt that you want, pal? Okay, make things real bright around here
What do you say we the tree? up these pretty lights here Oh, shes looking already What do you say we take this little angel And ram her on the top branch,
How some gasoline for the whole thing? I mean, let's her just as bright as she can be What do you say we light her up and her Through the old picture window
No point in a tree as bright As all that giving the neighbors A to see, dont you think? There, you glad ole Jack stopped by
The towered brightly in the cold, wintry sky As he made for his and bade his goodbye And an age may unfold air I to regret That visit from St. Nicholson, which Id sooner
But I swear by the bumps upon my skin That Ill always remember that devilish And his voice, crying out as he faded from Merry Christmas to all and I I never see you again For as long as I live, for crying out