A Life Wasted Part 1

I don't even think anymore
It's with me in my dreams, I do it in my sleep
Can't recall what I was like before
Been with me all my life, and though I've felt so many times I'm in too deep

I do nothing
I say nothing

I don't want to run anymore
I don't want to care about who and what they see
I wish I had an open door
That I'd pass through tonight, and in a cleansing light
I would just be me and truth would set me free

I see a boy, eight years old
He will believe almost any lie he's told
A seed was planted on that day
And ever since it has been growing, twisting, turning, stinging, burning, cutting deeper all the time, growing stronger, intertwines, with my sense of what is real, how I think and what I feel, how many years can this go on? I feel I'm turning to stone

What a dark day it was
And all because what one kid said to another
What a cruel attack, now it's still on my back and to what extent does it matter?
Did I change? Or maybe the world did..

In here no one can find me
The searching lights won't reach me here
Up there the truth abides there
All exposed and won't disappear

Once I nearly made it
To end this dumb charade I was so close
But well on top, I just froze

I stood up there a year or two
It felt so good and still I knew
I was sliding down
God I was sliding down

Here come the fools, losers on parade
Know what they've done, watch them squirm watch them crawl in shame
Take a good look at what your good God made
All broken men they're in pain and they're afraid

Here are the lowest of the low
Get in, get down and find your place the one we know
You've come to see the best of Me
My speciality, the place to be

Here are the lowest of the low
Get in, get down and find your place the one we know
It's you and me we're both to blame
In the parade of guilt and shame

Are you afraid to speak your mind?
Afraid you'll get pushed down, beaten, left on the outside
Afraid they do not like your kind?
And you'll get laughed at, messed up, is that why you run and hide?

Is this fear in control of your life?
You are not alone, you'll be fine

Jenny's made it alright
She's alive today
And Johnny got his share of trouble
Kicked through the mud and the rubble
1)And so you are here to stay, I am with you every step of the way
2)And now you are here today, but I'm with you every step I'm the way

Are you afraid of what they'd do?
Is it enough to change your mind 'bout what you know is true
What are the secrets that you keep?
Let go just one step at a time before you take the leap

Don't let them push you to the ground
No let the truth inside be found
And all that fear will melt away and no one can touch you
Get up again and turn the cheek
'Cause love is strong, their hate is weak
The you that's waiting 'hind the wall will make it alright too

Jenny's made it...