45 Is The New 15

VERSE 1
I thought when I grew old I'd just fall apart
Become a bitter angry wrinkled old fart
But I realize now that I have reached middle age
Just like a fine wine I grow better with age

VERSE 2
You kids today you think that you're all that
Boy I gotta tell you that that's totally whack
We can do what you can do but we can do it better
And we're gonna do it in a cool dad sweater

CHORUS
You wear your pants down low to make your butt be seen
I'll show off my plumbers crack and make all the ladies scream
Forget about youth and the ages in between
Move over sonny cause 45's the new 15

VERSE 3
You worship Twilight with it's moody shirtless guys
They're a far cry from Spicoli at Ridgemont High
What? You think that dubstep's an original fad?
Where you think the Robot comes from? FROM YOUR DAD

CHORUS
You spike your mohawk, and then you dye in green,
My hairline is receding, but with my hat it can't be seen
We're going out, I gotta find my stone-washed jeans,
Move over sonny cause 45's the new 15

BRIDGE
You have zits, well I also have zits
How do you get rid of those? I don't know, I don't know
We're more similar than you think,
Except you can't drinkOhhhh

CHORUS
You're chasing girls around with your muscles flexed
I'm overweight and married, but that's 20 years of regular sex
So put us on the front of Tiger Beat Magazine
Move over kiddies cause 45's the new 15

CHORUS
You hide your cigarettes so you don't get caught
I'll sit in my living roomwhat rhymes with caught?
Forget about youth and the ages in between
Move over sonny cause 45's the new 15

OUTRO
45's the new 15
I passed my prostate exam
I got a new weedwhacker
Tony's on his third marriage
45's the new 15
I got to bed at 9:15
45's the new 15